the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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