I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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