Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
