I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this beer tastes like vomit already
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
