called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
