I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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