I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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