WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
