It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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