Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
