Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
