weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
