I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
