too bad you live with your parents still
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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