tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
