carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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