"it" just moved
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
