I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
