if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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