if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
