I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
