You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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