it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
