You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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