I wish my penis had an off switch
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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