Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
