Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
