idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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