Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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