I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
