Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
tell me about the fingering
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