is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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