If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize