the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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