did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
