Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
