Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
there is puke in my bra ... again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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