I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize