Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize