im about as happy as oj after his trial
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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