You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
