I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
