Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
