I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize