I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
