At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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