you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
