I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
