Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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