mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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