I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
