You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
