3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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