were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
