you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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