I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
