it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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