i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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