using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
