come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
