what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
